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• Director: Raja Gosnell
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 102
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Animation, Kids & Family, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Comedy

Did I say that I am elated that Neil Patrick Harris’ 15 minutes of fame have lasted 20 years too long? Dugey Houser returns as a Smurf. What hell have I landed in and cannot escape? Please, Momma, please!

Having said that, not for the last time in reference to “The Smurfs”, my other profound disappointment is George Lopez taking a fat check for such a demeaning piece of work. George might possibly the funniest mainstream comedian to be in Hollywood doing mainstream films--- and this is the best role he can get? Disappointing.

Then, there is Katy Perry. She has just a few good years left in her before she starts the liposuction, career comeback tours which won’t be nearly as interesting as how she came up with the lyrics to “Fireworks”. And here she is in a Smurf movie. Call your agent, Sweetie, and talk about the future- soon!

There is plenty in the film to make the kiddies laugh. The grownups in the audience were largely still, quiet and texting during this horror, er, comedy animation kids film. Did I already say it was in 3d? That little twist cost someone dearly to include in the production, for precious little ROI (that is return on investment).

If I were to make a “Smurf” film, I would include some bloody death scenes in it. The Smurfs have been given too many human privileges, such as human emotional complexes like being grumpy and such. Those conditions must be earned. And it takes real life conditions to earn. Smurf cartoons and smurf movies lack any credibility to make smurfs loved. As blue elves, okay, I can give you some love on that. But as still lifes only! One you animate elves and trolls and flying monkeys, there have to be consequences.

And “The Smurfs” just don’t face any of substance to get me to buy in and say “I loved it.”