Movie: Fright Night

• Director: Craig Gillespie
• Release Date: Aug 2011
• Run Time: 101
• Genre: Horror, Comedy

Craig Gillespie surprised me with his remake of “Fright Night.” He put out “Lars and the Real Girl”, was somewhat instrumental in the production of “Mr. Woodcock” (Billy Bob Thornton), and some TV episodes. But Gillespie is a veritable unknown. And here he is bringing together a very clever rendition of a horror classic from 1985. Call it an update.

The film’s screenplay is by Marti Noxon (“Buffy”). There is a twist in making the vampire into a sexual predator, only a half-step beyond what everybody was thinking anyway as the fanged ones have been bending babes over backwards since the days of Bela Legosi in Transylvania. In the first film, Chris Sarandon played a more romantic critter than the 2011 brand’s lead in Colin Farrell. Farrell plays greasy to the hilt out for his jollies as handyman “Jerry.” As Jerry’s neighbor, Charley (Anton Yelchin) finds out that the grease ball has designs on his Mama (Toni Collette) and his girlfriend (Imogen Poots) because of the not-so-veiled warnings of his buddy Ed, an estranged nerdy sort, played aptly by Chris Mintz-Plasse. And Charley almost finds out too late. But that is why it is a fright night indeed.

Jerry is a proverbial fox too close to the henhouse with only the insecure Charley standing guard and a dopey male Sancho Panza type in relief. Can you say easy pickings? Farrell has enough hunk factor going for him to be a real threat and sets the stage for the ultimate carnage. He lurks and prowls with gusto. Farrell appeared to have as a good a time in this role as he did in “Horrible Bosses” as the coke-head son named “Bobby”. In fact, this film wouldn’t work without Farrell as Jerry.

Movie: The Help

• Director: Tate Taylor
• Release Date: Aug 2011
• Run Time: 137
• Genre: Drama

The Help: There’s a Reason They are Called That

The thing about American racial politics in the 1960s South is that today the say all- tell all propensity of its black survivors makes for good social commentary. In an era where the American President is dark skinned and half-white, an era that is supposedly “post-racial”, films like “The Help” bring to life the undertoned whispers of a not so peaceful past that inform the memories of an older generation with stories to tell—and tell directly. Viola Davis stars in this hands-down hit of the summer where she pulls off lines such as her answer to the query of “What do you do?” The Negro maid in Mississippi says with non-chalant, facts of life surety: “Lookin’ after white kids is what I do.”

Davis stars as “Abileen” in Tate Taylor’s screen version of the first novel by Kathryn Stockett. Emma Stone plays “Skeeter”, a young white woman who decides to treat the black women who work in the homes of a small town in Mississippi like real people, something not afforded by and large to blacks in the Jim Crow South. Skeeter wants to know how they live as they do what they do. The film is ambitious as the nuances of racialized ethnicity of blacks is difficult to convey without setting up stereotypical traps in the script.

Taylor is fearless in the subject matter treatment. It implies a familiarity and comfort with black life. There is a fine line between familiarity and presumption. Often times film makers can err on the side of presumption by overplaying facial expressions, or misplacing a euphemism that makes the talk fall short of the much needed walk if shattering stereotypes is part of the mission.

“The Help” is an inspiring film. To me, whenever a film makes a conservative effort to recast the past in America, and it uses racial politics as the center theme, it is making an effort at telling the truth. Further, when the film places black people center stage in the storytelling, it gives itself the opportunity to present an accurate representation of the attitudes and values of blacks as these are informed by the proclivities of their racial overseers- whites.

America has a long way to go in telling its story as a nation. Films such as “The Help” will go a long way in schools and universities where the discussions and conversations abound on matters of race, ethnicity, and gender. The outer-facing America is also well-served by a film like this one because it helps a people tell the truth about themselves in an unafraid way. “The Help” is well worth the time invested to go out and see it. Take friends and talk about it!

Movie: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

• Director: Rupert Wyatt
• Release Date: Aug 2011
• Run Time: 120
• Genre: Drama, Action, Adventure, Science Fiction, Fantasy

Rise of the Planet of the Apes: You’ll Never Guess What Happened to the Alzheimer Cure

“Rise” is a pretty interesting film as it portrays humankind’s penchant for anthropomorphizing our pets into human-savvy entities who share our wisdom as well as our penchant for violence. When it comes to apes, the connections between human and our hairy counterparts are visually so appealing as to be irrefutable. Such is the case with this extension of Schaffner’s “Planet of the Apes” that starred Charlton Heston (1968) which reverses the classic where the apes are evaluating the humans.

In “Rise” James Franco plays the concerned scientist who creates a serum for Alzheimer treatment designed specifically for his sick father, Charles (John Lithgow). One of Franco’s surrogate patients is an ape who goes mad on the wacky sauce. But the young scientist and his Dad adopt the ape’s baby, who we come to know as Caesar. Caesar is a typical ape but he seems much like the rest of the human family as he sits quietly at dinner and seems to have his own thoughts.

As we anticipated, Caesar grows up over 8 years. He has superhuman strength and a problem with authority. Soon he is penalized for his outrageous behavior and falls in with some bad apples and the rampaging apes end up terrorizing the city.

The special effects are balanced well. An apes-gone-wild film could easily have tried to outdo “Avatar”. The exotic can over inspire creative talents. Lead actor Franco as the center staged human wasn’t in any danger of being overplayed by the comely Caesar.

“Rise” is entertaining on its own merits. San Francisco is an amazing film venue no matter what the theme. Rampaging apes on the Golden Gate Bridge was quite a spectacular climax. If you have the extra jingles in your pocket to spend in the theater, you’re surely not going to resent having taken this one in on the big screen.

Movie: Cowboys and Aliens

• Director: Jon Favreau
• Release Date: Aug 2011
• Run Time: 118
• Genre: Western, Action, Adventure, Science Fiction, Fantasy

Okay, so the song warns mommas not to let their boys grow up to be cowboys. Now, you might want to warn momma not to let your daughter date aliens because they could grow up in a cowboys town and still be cowboys or worse, and have alien powers that they will have to keep a secret all of their lives- that is until the aliens come back looking for them.

But you didn’t hear this from me. And it doesn’t (wink wink wink) have anything to do with the plot of “Cowboys and Aliens”.

You might have done a lot worse with a film that tries to bring alien lore back to New Mexico but in the year 1873, almost a century before Roswell. (Oh! You hadn’t thought of that now had you?!?) However, this film does pretty well.

Okay, so I love “House” and love Olivia Wilde even more. You found me out and know I am a sucker for Miss Wilde’s big doe eyes of sultry seductive powers. But at worst, this means if you aren’t a sucker for Miss Wilde, then maybe there is an outside chance that you still think Harry Ford has some pull as a big screen action dude (even if this is a western), or Danny Craig can be something more than Bond, James Bond, and the emerging Adam Beach is just a cool guy that makes you feel good inside when he is on your team.

In short, there is a lot to go for in this sci-fi Western. The plot is mysterious enough and the cast pulls off every bit of western and alien shtick (bar stand-offs and abductions) that is expected of them.

What is most powerful is the wizardry of casting that doesn’t force Danny Craig to be the star of the movie, or for any of us in the audience to walk in expecting Harry Ford to pull off the comeback movie of his career after his abject failure in his last Indiana Jones film where he looked retarded and old. And then there is sweet Olivia Wilde- dear God! Oh wait, this is going to be published on the Internet!

“Cowboys and Aliens” works because the acting works and the scenery of New Mexico is splendidly seductive. But not as much as the delectable Miss Wilde. (Wait! I am not done yet!)

Movie: Thirty Minutes or Less

• Director: Ruben Fleischer
• Release Date: Aug 2011
• Run Time: 83
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy

Repeat the Lesson until You Learn Death’s Rules

When Delivery Fails, It Should Be Free!

Well, the best of intentions litter the summer hybrid marketplace. “30 Minutes or Less” had potential to zap the audience with a comedically dark premise of a criminal caper lost to incompetent post-adolescent males not-quite-men.

The modern terrorist device du jour- the bomb vest- is not even enough to blow the audience out of its apathy with all of its promise to pull off a bank caper. Jesse Eisenberg (Zombieland) is the slacker pizza delivery guy who gets roped into the desperation with a substitute teacher sidekick (Aziz Ansari). The two unlikely cons are doing the dirty work for two ingrates (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson) who want to hire a hit man so they can scam an inheritance. Quite a feat to pull off; but, so was this movie. It was worth a try. IT just never really got there, despite being funny at times.

There is tension between the two best buddies even before they get hoodwinked into the criminal bank caper. Nick (Eisenberg) confesses to having schtupped his buddy’s twin sister, Kate, (Dilshad Vadsaria). Yet, Chet (Ansari), turns to Nick when he gets pinched to do the robbery by the even more desperate Travis and Dwayne in order to bump off Dwayne’s Marine Corp Pappy (Fred Ward).

All is fair in sex and crime. Somehow, the cast doesn’t gel enough to get the buy-in it needs to sell the desperation. I was left feeling that the pizza guy could just work a little harder and tell Dwayne to go pound sand. Chet isn’t believable when he tries to make the case that he has reached the pinnacle of his career in teaching as a substitute. He is inviting abuse when Dwayne and Travis come knocking. I guess that part is believable.

The setting for this film is adequately depressing. Grand Rapids has a lock on that honor. Nick is perfectly fit to disappoint as he has trouble pulling off the heist and living up to his pizza employer’s claim for prompt delivery service. No one seems to have a clue.

The real bad guys in the film, Dwayne and Travis, decide to off the Marine Corps Dad as a capper to their careers as TV watchers in Dad’s house. Go figure: Grand Rapids failed to inspire or motivate them to come up with a better plan to get Dad’s dinero!

Movie: Final Destination 5

• Director: Steven Quale
• Release Date: Aug 2011
• Run Time: 95
• Genre: Horror

Repeat the Lesson until You Learn Death’s Rules

Death has a way of telling us that it will get its due- ultimately. And so it goes in Final Destination 5. Sometimes we differ with those among us who don’t see it that way. The consequences can be extremely dark for them. In the first Final Destination, the original, there were those now-famous school kids who survive the explosion of Flight 180. That lucky premonition of one adolescent saved his school chums. But the survivors luck runs out as we saw, month-by-month, with each dying in some exquisitely horrible way. Somehow, the fickle must have thought the survivors had cheated death by living through the Flight 180 carnage. But then we see again, how death finds them all.

This time, 12 years later, the grimmest of reapers comes for the luckless in the form of a coroner played by Candyman star Tony Todd. Death comes to collect and to enforce the rules of the universe.

For being the fifth in the series, Final Destination 5 demonstrates some humor and energetic flow. Some have even claimed a complete reanimation of this horror brand. That is no small fete when audiences are likely to show up believing they’ve seen it all and are more likely to attend to be proven wrong than to be impressed. Director Steven Quale nails down the demise of the seemingly lucky survivors of Death’s latest trick.

The formula was first spawned in the Wong-Morgan formula offered by the “X-Files” and Quale delivers in good solid style. The sets are contraptive but effective in finishing off the cast. There is a sense that the cast members are a bit naïve about Death, the rules, and their chances.

The series of Final Destinations has been up and down. For me, number five and numero uno were the best of the bunch. I was surprised there was a “Final” 5 because, after all, number four was called “THE Final Destination”. But who’s counting? Bring on “Final” number 6 and I am there. It’s a winning formula and now that “Final” 5 has revived the brand, investors can’t go wrong by rolling the dice once more!

Movie: The Smurfs

• Director: Raja Gosnell
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 102
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Animation, Kids & Family, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Comedy

Did I say that I am elated that Neil Patrick Harris’ 15 minutes of fame have lasted 20 years too long? Dugey Houser returns as a Smurf. What hell have I landed in and cannot escape? Please, Momma, please!

Having said that, not for the last time in reference to “The Smurfs”, my other profound disappointment is George Lopez taking a fat check for such a demeaning piece of work. George might possibly the funniest mainstream comedian to be in Hollywood doing mainstream films— and this is the best role he can get? Disappointing.

Then, there is Katy Perry. She has just a few good years left in her before she starts the liposuction, career comeback tours which won’t be nearly as interesting as how she came up with the lyrics to “Fireworks”. And here she is in a Smurf movie. Call your agent, Sweetie, and talk about the future- soon!

There is plenty in the film to make the kiddies laugh. The grownups in the audience were largely still, quiet and texting during this horror, er, comedy animation kids film. Did I already say it was in 3d? That little twist cost someone dearly to include in the production, for precious little ROI (that is return on investment).

If I were to make a “Smurf” film, I would include some bloody death scenes in it. The Smurfs have been given too many human privileges, such as human emotional complexes like being grumpy and such. Those conditions must be earned. And it takes real life conditions to earn. Smurf cartoons and smurf movies lack any credibility to make smurfs loved. As blue elves, okay, I can give you some love on that. But as still lifes only! One you animate elves and trolls and flying monkeys, there have to be consequences.

And “The Smurfs” just don’t face any of substance to get me to buy in and say “I loved it.”

Movie: Winnie the Pooh

• Director: Stephen J. Anderson , Don Hall
• Release Date: July 2011
• Run Time: 73
• Genre: Animation, Kids & Family

I grew up with Winnie the Pooh. AA Milne’s books were part and parcel of my childhood, at home and at school. The books were so boring compared to my comic books and the lure of AM radio sounds of the San Francisco Bay area— I mean, Jimi Hendrix’ “Purple Haze” and “Foxy Lady” were top 10 hits back in those days, along with original Beatles tunes.

There was Pooh: about virtually nothing, boring, and nothing standing out as a reason to read the books over and over again. But we did.
The film accomplished the same thing with me. I have taken three sets of neighborhood kids to see this film. Why? Because they don’t like to read and I thought that maybe they would fall in love with Owl, and Eeyore, and Piglet and Winnie enough to want to read the books— which can still be found at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

The film is amazingly short at 69 minutes. I went twice in one day! The hand drawn animation reflects the integrity of the illustrations in the books. Everything I loved about Milne’s books, for no reason in particular mind you, I loved about this film. It is one of Disney’s triumphs this year. The throwback to old school animation versus the Pixar inundations of Schreck and Woody the Toy Story was quite welcome. Smooth human like cartoon characters is slightly creepy anyway. The harmless Pooh and the hapless Eeyore made me feel as though I was really venturing into a child’s world as it should be— where there is not an overabundance of “evil” and “magic” and other things that grownups need in order to be entertained enough to take children to the movies.

“Pooh” is a selfless film for children. I highly recommend it, especially to people who have never read the Milne book series. At some point, when Web 2.0 becomes over saturated with wandering viewers looking to escape their lives, stories like Milne’s Pooh will have a lot of appeal. For kids, I think this film is a sleeper that will echo and reverberate as an attractive choice to reach for over and over again.

Movie: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

• Director: Michael Bay
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 150
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Science Fiction, Fantasy

You are either into the works of animation gargantuana by Michael Bay; or, you’re not. There is not a middle ground. Critics have been jabbing into each other’s unguarded midsections over who is more adoring of the “testosterone filled” excitement of the latest Transformers movie “Dark of the Moon.”
Let’s get one thing straight first. Hormones in any creature are meant to be in them in adequate amounts. Testosterone is no exception. So when testosterone is waning in an adult male human, the sufferer tends to be moving into estrogen imbalance which has one effect: it makes him cranky. Therefore, this critic will not assault Bay’s T3 film as testosterone anything. It is a hot, fast-moving, animated war flick where the good guys win.

What I loved about this Bay-Spielberg collaboration is that they underhandedly position Hillary Clinton as the new has-been of liberal Hollywood’s politics by making Fran McDormand’s character (Charlotte) the evil henchwoman who is plotting with the evil Decepticons to take down the good ol’ USA. But at risk of sabotaging your enjoyment of a first-rate animation extravaganza, I will say no more. It is amusing though how the veiled messages of top Hollywood Democrat fundraisers (Bay and Spielberg) are lanced out into the open through a multi-million dollar supposedly kid-flick. Only in the USA can this type of money be used to make something so much fun for the whole family- voters and non-voters alike. What’s next a movie about Mussolini?

Sam Wit icky is back and Chicago is the backdrop for the mother of all battles. The Lincoln Memorial, sadly again, is whacked by a force of evil—one time too many for this Patriot. Abe did his part to get us this far. What is with the suggestives on he is better off whacked again? Shia LeBouef rocks as the action guy who directs the Special Forces to whip butt against the Decepticons. I am always amazed at how they create Sam to be the unsuspecting unwilling American hero after he gets two stabs at his first girlfriend Megan “LUSCIOUS!!!” Fox in T1 and T2, and now a third played by the hotly Rosie Huntington-Whitely- and the hottest Camaro ever- BUMBLEBEE!. I am sorry. Anyone else’s ego would scream: CALL ME WHEN YOU WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN!!!!

Go see it. The critics have it all wrong- it is all good clean fun.

Movie: Mr. Popper’s Penguins

• Director: Mark Waters (VIII)
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 94
• Genre: Comedy, Kids & Family

If you are a Jim Carrey fan, then you will go to see this film no matter what I say. However, this is not a movie that is worth 12 bucks to go see, even if you have kids. The plot lacks a theme to which it can be loyal all the way through. There is no doubt “Penguins” tries too hard to be funny as a way to set up Carrey to be the funniest character in the film. On that score it fails: Carrey is not funny- just “silly-stupid” as I like to call it.

There are just so many nagging questions for the seriously-minded filmgoer to resolve. For starters, why would someone have a penguin collection at an old age, so old that they would own these birds in captivity near the time of their own death and be compelled to will them to a descendant? I didn’t even scratch my head over that question. It didn’t qualify as an oddity that one would equate with alligators being in the New York City sewer lines, or something bizarre like that- it was just silly-stupid.

And then there was the real estate firm that Carrey’s character worked for as a star salesman. Mr.-uh- oh yeah! – Popper has a gift for selling real estate. And his firm decides that all of his sales haven’t qualified him for anything special, not the least of which is partner, the brass ring in Manhattan real estate sales. So they decide he has to be able to sell a piece of real estate that isn’t for sale. Heh? I didn’t scratch my head over that one. To repeat, heh?

The final bizarre question was about Carrey’s nemesis , Kent (David Krumholtz), who wants to bust Carrey for having pets in violation of his housing contract. But Kent is nowhere to be seen as the penguins misbehave in scene after scene in the building lobby. So why do we need Kent in the movie at all?

Come to think of it, why do we need “Mr. Popper’s Penguins”?

Movie: Life in a Day

• Director: Kevin Macdonald
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 90
• Genre: Documentary

You knew it had to happen at least once in a YouTube world. And it has. Michael McDonald has captured footage filmed by thousands of people at once during the course of one 24 hour period of the year 2010. Compilation must have been a nightmare with sequencing just as terrific an undertaking- yet it happens in spite of the logistical horrors involved to give us “Life in a Day.”

The bottom line is that we see how we are all not that different in terms of what life consists of in the course of a day. We are all so very similar as to how we schlub our ways through living a day at a time, confined by the material boundaries of time and space.

However, there is an emphasis in this film on the possibilities presented by the flimsy separation afforded by the wee hours of the morning when, it is said, the spirits come closer to the humans sleeping to touch us in dream sleep and get us to take a second look at what we take for granted.

I loved this film. It is the beginning of the end of trivializing screenplays dictated through the lense of people who have the privilege to make films. This film could have easily been shot over the course of one year on one person’s cell phone video camera. The end of film is near as real life take’s over and the truth of real life will kick butt on fiction every day of the week.

Social media plugs into every aspect of business, life, play, death, and warfare. We are going to be so up close and personal to every aspect of existence that it will drive us mad, as that Hitchcock film threatened to do in the 1960s. The buffer has been removed. The camera phone, the hand held high def low cost video camera shooting digital files no bigger than a cufflink will bring life so close to us that “Life in a Day” will remind us of how innocent this journey started “way back in 2010.”

Hold onto your butts! IT is about to get very interesting my film going, film loving friends.

Movie: Bad Teacher

• Director: Jake Kasdan
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 91
• Genre: Comedy

Cameron Diaz stars as “Elizabeth” the sleazy, alcoholic, drug addicted school teacher who doesn’t teach her students anything while striving in life for a pair of breast implants.

“Stars” is a pretty poor choice of words to describe what Diaz does in the film; but, it is a film and that is what the lead actress is supposedly doing there.

“Bad Teacher” is a nihilist bore of a film. Someone thought they needed to make a statement about teachers which needed to be cynical and vulgar. They would be writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg. At the time of this review someone had collected $94.4 million in proceeds; that would be Sony Pictures.

Usually in school flicks the kids are somewhat memorable.
I rest my case.

Diaz is co-starred by Justin Timberlake. Poor Justin. He validates the shadowy opinion many of us have held, despite his recurrent appearances on the screen, for some time that he cannot act his way out of a wet paper bag. But there he is being that guy again. I don’t like anything Justin Timberlake does, whether it is his snow-goose-in-flight rendition of human music or being the peach-fuzzed boyfriend of Brittany What’s-Her-Name. There. I did it again.

Now let me do this again- something I do best- and that is shredding a female lead. Diaz is without something she really needs in order to be likeable in a film. First, Diaz should never be the lead actress in the film or the female lead next to somebody say as rich as Tom Cruise. Second, Diaz should have a makeup crew to do her makeup for her. She should never be allowed to put her lipstick on herself- she appears clownish. Third, Diaz needs to have talented actors and actresses in the cast to take attention away from her drunken sorority girl persona muted and dulled into the background. Sometimes I think she should be in films just to be the convincing rude and obnoxious dinner guest that we hear from the other room but never have to actually see or tolerate in a scene.

Bad Teacher is a bad movie with bad intentions the director was dishonestly keeping from us the entire time. That is how badly conceived this criminal endeavor was. At least let us know everything in it was bad and not just the teacher.

Movie: Cars 2

• Director: John Lasseter , Brad Lewis
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 112
• Genre: Action & Adventure, Animation, Kids & Family, Comedy

Well, I have to admit that Pixar Studios has had an impact on modern film with the likes of “Toy Story”, its sequels, and “The Incredibles.” Yes, I also admit there have been more. However, those were my favorites because the animation was more innocent and less self-impressed plus the relationship bent to the storylines had yet to be told so repetitively as they have in the most recent Pixar dishings.

“Cars 2” is a redoing of so many stereotyped plotlines: the evildoings behind the scenes at a race, friends ditching friends from home at the chance of getting into the mega-big time, boy meets girl- boy really needs cash to impress girl, and on and on. Redoing stereotyped plotlines does not suggest anything more than a studio attempting to hook the parents of the kids who were dragged to the theater to see this remake of remakes. Little Johnny’s mommy got hooked and she told Little Sean’s mommy…and the box office take grows due to parental sentimentality.

The problem I have with star power doing animation is that they are not allowed anything but their voicings to make the character. The action and the character’s character itself are all framed by the animators. That is like obeying the unelected bureaucrats of a non-governmental organization or the appointed czar of a president who makes unpopular policies to control peoples’ consumption habits. The animator isn’t supposed to direct a star.

Mickey Mouse is the star. The animator is charged with animating the star. Owen Wilson is the lead in Cars 2 but we don’t get to see Owen star in anything. Owen is framed in completely by the animator’s work creating “Lightning McQueen”. It’s uninspiring.

Cars 2 is supposed to be about cars but it does nothing to attract its natural audience: car lovers! Car loving is exotic even if it is about stock cars, muscle cars, or Ricky Bobby himself. Cars mean sex and this poor, underinspired comedy doesn’t even suggest it with its “alternative” fuel subplot and its “evil Big Oil” sub-sub plot. Is there no rest from the politically correct nightmare scenarios of environmentalists?

Fantasy needs to appeal to imagination. Cars 2 is a negative on a scale of 1 to 10. I hope Owen Wilson’s fragile psychology can take the hit this film is likely to take.

Movie: Another Earth

• Director: Mike Cahill
• Release Date: July 2011
• Run Time: 92
• Genre: Drama

This film’s director, Mike Cahill, must know a lot of wealthy people who believe in him. This film is absurd on its face as a story and as a technical work. Film students have written and directed better pieces than “Another Earth” which is being billed as some kind of indie sci-fi film. It is neither independent nor science fiction in the purest sense.

But, but back to Cahill’s stroke of good fortune and rich friends- how does this happen and then result in a poor plot and even worse production? The plot is absurd: bad fortune befalls cute lady and her family gets killed for which she does jail time. Then she ends up stalking the survivor husband who starts a new life, and evidently gets a lobotomy because he forgets what the mommy looks like and ends up hiring her as his housekeeper. Huh?

The camera work in this film is sloppy and not in that edgy kind of axe-murderer-filming-you-as-you-run-from-him-down-the-hallway kind of way. No siree, Bob! This camera work is just bad, as bad as bad gets on a Tuesday when YOU do not have any rich friends to fund your film project and you are as hungry as a jackal in a zoo.

Look, go see “Another Earth” if you would be intrigued by the question: If there was another carbon copy planet Earth discovered with you on it, would you go there and start a new life? Stuff like that makes me yawn, but you might like it, so why not?

This critic (and I don’t just play one on TV, I am a critic of everything around me in the known universe) just can’t get behind bad camera work, unearned film making privileges, and a poor plot because I have worked too hard making this life of mine on THIS planet Earth too rewarding to just go sailing out onto a lunar landscape and dream “What if?” What would have worked better is if the new planet was never discovered and the car crash was rewound in a time warp, and we got to see the Mommy make one small move that averted the tragedy— but she KNEW that the tragedy had unfolded in another space time continuum.

I would have funded that film and shot it myself, with shaky hands and my axe murderer mentality not detracting from the production values one iota. Worth a look, but at least you know what I didn’t like about it. Big whoop?

Watch movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

• Director: David Yates , Various
• Release Date: July 2011
• Writers: Steve Kloves, J.K. Rowling
• Run Time: 130
• Genre: Drama, Action & Adventure, Kids & Family, Mystery & Suspense, Science Fiction & Fantasy

Watch this Movie »

Movie: Horrible Bosses

• Director: Seth Gordon
• Release Date: July 2011
• Run Time: 97
• Genre: Comedy

I sat through “Horrible Bosses” laughing at the most obvious shortcomings of three unlikely heroes, Nick (Jason Bateman), Dale (Charlie Day), and Curt (Jason Sudeikis) who want to kill their bosses.  Life is miserable for Dale under the unrelenting sexual advances of his boss Dr. Julia Harris, DDS played by Jennifer Aniston.  Nick is under the thumb of the psychopathic Dave (Kevin Spacey) and finally decides to conspire with Curt (Jason Sudeikis), equally miserable after his loving boss (Donald Sutherland) dies suddenly to leave his company in the hands of his coke addict reprobate son Bobby (Colin Farrell).

Jennifer Aniston provides the sexy in this comedy as she throws herself shamelessly at her hapless dental assistant Dale, day in and day out. Dale is lined up to marry his wholesome fiancé; but, Aniston is bound and determined to get into Dale’s pants.  She begins her comedic sex addicted humor by squirting Dale’s crotch with water from the dental rinse line outlining the reluctant underling’s crotch to which she croons “Oooh shabat shalom! Dale, you’re circumcised I see.”  It is all too much for Dale as he later commiserates with Nick and Curt over beers about life under their horrible bosses.

They finally agree to joint homicide.  Incompetence rules the day as they try to hire a hit man but mistakenly hire a “wet play” homosexual urinator.  Dale sets that one up and the three are out 200 bucks for their trouble.  The stooges go to a rough part of LA into an all-black bar and try to recruit a hit man but are nearly assaulted by a bat wielding bartender who takes offense at their insinuation that the bar is their best resource for arranging foul play.  Enter Jamie Foxx, as the incompetent negotiator hit man Motherfucker Jones.

The film teases out every use of the hit man’s first name to keep the audience laughing as the plans are laid for the three friends to do the hit themselves.  Kevin Spacey trumps their play when he ends up mistakenly thinking that Bobby (Colin Farrell) is schtupping his wife, Spacey’s insecurity complex that drives him to rage.  From that point all hell breaks loose as the three underlings become suspects in the murder and the incompetent police demonstrate how out of control the entire plot becomes once Spacey breaks out and goes over the edge as a cold blooded killer.

Aniston never fully gets targeted for death because she works her sexual spell over Curt and the plot to get her melts away.

At the risk of giving away too much I will tell you: GO SEE THIS FILM IF YOU WANT TO LAUGH.
Jennifer Aniston (Dr. Julia Harris)
Jason Bateman (Nick)
Charlie Day (Dale)
Jason Sudeikis (Curt)
Kevin Spacey (Dave)
Jamie Foxx (Motherfucker)
Colin Farrell (Bobby)

Movie: X-Men: First Class

• Director: Matthew Vaughn
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 131
• Genre: Drama, Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy

So! You want to make a comic book superhero flick. The summer film graveyard is full of abandoned dreams and box offices flops to begin with; but, you shouldn’t let that stop you. Matthew Vaughn certainly did not. X Men: First Class is purely and simply a resurrection experience for the comic book legends. The previous experiments “Wolverine” and “The Last Stand” might have violated the dictums of comic book purists. And “First Class” might do the same. I don’t know. I am not a comic book guy. All I know is that this film is solid beginning with the story itself.

Vaughn is credited on the screenplay but has brought in a talented team of writers to set the scenes in real-word history that begins in Nazi death camps and spans into the 1960s Cold War era. The mutant superpowers are the envy of the political superpowers of the day that seek, through evil science, to bottle and capture the essence of these for their own ill-defined uses in the battle for global supremacy. What’s not to love about a flirtation with genetic engineering- it’s a lot more interesting than the scare of “Franken foods” in the apple aisle of the local big box grocery store or the endless promises of being able to pick the color of your baby’s eyes (and I don’t mean prior to dating either!).

The story follows the evolution of Charles and Erik as the duo of superheroes who grow out of their special childhood circumstances. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender play the two grown up mutants and put in journeyman efforts. You simply don’t see the actors. You actually see mutant superheroes- even though I don’t claim to have ever seen one in real life to compare these to.

You will get lots of action and good vs. evil stuff in “First Class”. The film is first class though for two reasons: 1) there isn’t any action scene in the film that is gratuitous; and, 2) there isn’t any single thud point where the story moralizes as to what constitutes good and what constitutes evil- it lets you decide.

Movie: TrollHunter

• Director: André Ovredal
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 90
• Genre: Drama, Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Comedy

First things first, do you believe in trolls? Norwegians obviously revere the legends in case you did not know. Even if you don’t believe in them, if you go see “Troll Hunter” you will stray from your dogma and at lease look under the bridges you pass in the years ahead. Why? Because this film will school you about trolls and how to catch them.

Not your cup of tea? Well, if you find yourself in the theater with someone who drags you to see “Troll Hunter”, you will quickly fall under its spell because something or someone is killing bears. Heartstrings for bears run long into the general human population because they are so much like human beings. And our heroes in the film are two amateur film makers who happen to be kids. Their suspicions are presented by the local bureaucrat who is creepily the first on the scene of every poaching. Yet, the film surprises us with the introduction of the grizzly guy who is called in as a troll expert because this ends up not looking like the work of a human.

“Troll Hunter” is guided by the on-screen narrator Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud) and his companion Johanna (Johanna Mørck), who are collaborating as film makers. Their hunt for the truth about the bear killings leads them to the troll hunter Hans (Otto Jespersen) who is secretly tracking trolls because the state doesn’t want to alarm the public about the truth- trolls are out in force from their habitat in the north. The trolls are foraging for food and the creepy bureaucrat, played by Hans Morten Andersen, is doing his best to track them and capture or kill them without letting on. But the film makers are sleuthing their way to the truth until they find the last hope of Norwegians, troll hunter Hans.

Hans is your curmudgeonish troll hunter who is exasperated by his plight having to be involved with the government and its paperwork. Catch a troll and you will see for yourself how much there is involved in documenting what most people do not even believe exists.

“Troll Hunter” takes a little while to grow on you. But a good mystery embroiled in fantasy, flanked by expert troll knowledge will have you suspending belief and judgment about this Andre Orvedal film.

Movie: Super 8

• Director: J.J. Abrams
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 112
• Genre: Science Fiction & Fantasy

JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg used to make movies with Super 8 cameras. Lost you already, huh? If I hadn’t, then you’d be in the know that Super 8 cameras were what “home movies” were all about before there were “camcorders” and “VCRs”. They shot real film like big time movies we would see in theaters. The film played on “reels” on clackety sounding movie projectors, miniature versions of real projectors used in theaters. This time capsule of a movie is aptly named because it is a look back into an era of long-time gone Spielberg films from “Goonies” to “ET”, through the lense of a Super 8 camera.

Abrams skillfully keeps the sense of mystery about the film. I stayed involved in the story because the characters are kids who are totally involved in what they are doing. The mystery, however, doesn’t just blurt itself out into the film- the story was kept under wraps before release time, with just enough PR in the trailers to get me to the theater. The star power of Spielberg and Abrams was enough to sell me on checking it out. What’s all the buzz about?

Well, let me just say that Elle Fanning is a huge part of the buzz. Her performance as a budding model in a small town, who is in cahoots rebelliously with the son of the deputy sheriff (“Friday Night Lights” star Kyle Chandler) played by Joel Courtney, told me that a star has indeed been born in real life. Elle Fanning is a reason to get your ticket.

Abrams fans will groove to the big scene that sets the movie off and made me feel that I was grabbed by the throat and tossed over a cliff. There is a train coming and the kids take the Super 8 camera off of their amateur model project to get some real live train footage. Pun intended here: the scene is explosive as a vehicle on the tracks gets crushed by the train, which is followed by explosions and flying train cars.

From there, Abrams takes you home through a series of twists and turns as if that train is not really derailed but taking you ever higher through Swiss Alps mountain valleys. And the entire ride you get to look at Elle Fanning. The secret is safe with me. Go see it!

Movie: The Trip

• Director: Michael Winterbottom
• Release Date: June 2011
• Run Time: 107
• Genre: Art House & International, Comedy

This is a film about two real-life brit-wits on tour, for hire, in the North of England where they selfishly endure the comforts of travel through their lodging and meal experiences.

I experience Coogan and Brydon much the way I do when I watch Larry David in “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. Larry is a twisted contradiction of success and humiliated male anti-hero who has trouble getting what he really wants from life. In “The Trip” we see the inner-Larry played out by two anti-heroes who humiliate one another but in separate bodies.

I don’t feel that you are with me yet on this take on a very funny film for the seasoned filmgoer who appreciates cinema and poetry. But if you happen to be one of the unschooled, if not entirely unshod, masses like me (I take my shoes off in the theater, hope you don’t mind!), then you will find the low-life douche-baggery of Coogan and Brydon trying to eat food they don’t like or, who get the routine of ordering the same thing in every restaurant as if it really is your job to do so, then you will completely dig this offbeat film.

What is it about successful has-been men that are funny when they are constantly being confronted by a reminder man who is unpolished but consistently so? You know, there is the aloof “Don’t you know who I am?” guy accompanied by the cheesy talk show guest who everybody recognizes but understands he couldn’t possibly be more important than the guy wearing that ascot. That’s what I mean. No one knows Larry David is a successful writer because they get blinded by the guy who is screaming at the parking valet over not having enough cash to pay his way into the lot. Of course, we don’t know who you are: you’re just a broke jerk with anger management problems.

Coogan and Brydon hit a home run (yes, American baseball metaphors to describe Brit-wits on tour is tacky and not apropos to a nation of cricket players- but you must admit, the irreverence fits once you see hear these guys trying to use Al Pacino lines to describe fine food and lodging.)

Curb your enthusiasm until you hear them describing the drink you love as “snot.” Know what I mean?

Movie: The Tree of Life

• Director: Terrence Malick
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 138
• Genre: Drama, Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy

I think atheists are hysterically humorous as they thrash about trying to fill the hole in their spirits left by the vacuum of their non-belief in “GOD.” Yet they seek and search for the author of something they can accept “the Good Orderly Direction.” Recovering drunks are good at that too. Some say we are the best at it. Even if we believe in capital G God we are much like the struggling atheist who laments “Why me?” only to be bludgeoned by the simple truth: had you been around at the beginning of time to see the entire mystery laid into place, to wait for your arrival, would it help you and the other squirming souls understand your lives better?

Terrence Malick takes this on in “The Tree of Life.” I haven’t seen a Malick film since he cast Jim Keviezel in the best film about war ever made “The Thin Red Line.” Malick can take a simple human scenario and make you see it through somebody else’s eyes. You give Malick your eyes and say “Show me. I can’t see until you do it for me.” Absolutely unrivaled talent as a film maker, Malick mesmerizes in “Tree.”

Ever had the temptation to tell a story that didn’t have a convenient beginning? I mean, the story required the listener to understand a few things before the story was to have any real meaning they could grasp. So you start telling it and you end up, well, going all the way back to “and on the seventh day He rested.” You have to go that far back to really tell the story. No? Oh, okay. Well that is what Malick does to tell the story of Jack’s childhood in the film

I kid you not. As Jack (Sean Penn) seeks to understand why his life is what it is like he has to go all the way back to Creation, the Big Bang, the cooling of the Earth and the slow asteroid descending death blast against the dinosaurs. Malick pulls it off. He does all of that so we can understand Jack through a child’s eyes, down to the “slant” of the light. Brad Pitt plays Jack’s father. You do not want to miss this visually stunning tale through the eyes of another, who is still in touch with his inside child.

Movie: Soul Surfer

• Director: Sean McNamara
• Release Date: April 2011
• Run Time: 106
• Genre: Drama, Action & Adventure, Sports & Fitness

It would appear that sometimes the greatest challenge to a screenwriter is to let a true story tell itself. Too often the content of the story is under told and the impressions on the screenwriter of some aspect of the characters in true life presses a button or two and the minor details get over told. It happens. And that is the case with “Soul Surfer.”

Our lead in the story, Bethany, (Anna Sophia Robb) is attacked by a shark while she surfs and the injury nearly ends her. The story hinges on the fact that the shark attack doesn’t kill her. Bethany is challenged to face her fear of surfing again. The other anchor in the story, Bethany’s best friend, Alana (Lorraine Nicholson), helps the once fearless surfer deal with the loss of her arm by dealing with it herself. The visual effect on a normal-bodied person of a loss of a limb is quite dramatic, especially if you aren’t the one who lost the limb.

Instead of letting the film get to intensity built into the girl’s friendship, the storyline meanders through the family’s spiritual background and religious belief system. It comes off as an elevation of religion at the expense of showing how people use religion as a source of strength. Moral righteousness peeps out at the audience from behind the family so some time and attention gets wasted trying to sell the family as “good.” Maybe it was an effort to show the contrast of bad things happening to good people.

The life of young Bethany is enough of a story. And throw in some adolescent rivalry from other surfer girls if you want to have something to write home about. Sonya Balmores Chung performs admirably as a potential surfing rival of Bethany’s.

The water shots are incredibly good. The surfing spectacle is captured to the last detail and rescues the storyline. In the end, Bethany’s triumph left me with a good feeling. Knowing this was based on a true story helped. I think as a complete fiction I might have fallen asleep.

Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

• Director: Rob Marshall
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 137
• Genre: Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Comedy

Methought that the last Pirates I saw, where Captain Jack Sparrow greets his “beastie” with the glint of true hero meeting his end, would have been a fitting end deep within Davey Jones’ Locker. The idea that he went out with Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley as Captain Jack set well with me. So much has changed. I sat out the last one, not even recognizing it when it appeared on cable in my hotel room.

I forced myself to go to this installment of the Disney juggernaut. It wasn’t disappointing. It just seems a little overdone at this point. So that having been said, let’s talk about the plus side of “Stranger Tides.”

Well, there is Jeffrey Rush as Barbossa. Always a touch of class and filled with pirate protocol expertise, Barbossa is involved in the great pursuit of the Fountain of Youth. Playing against Capt. Jack and Blackbeard in the quest for immortality, for me, Rush holds the film together. He is a constant.

There are cameos by Keith Richard and Judi Dench. Penelope Cruz is Blackbeard’s daughter and she has a thing for Capt. Jack which doesn’t go anywhere. Capt. Jack is Johnny Depp and Johnny Depp is Capt. Jack I am afraid, now for me, for life. Sorry. He has done too many of these. I kept wringing my hands and asking Johnny, silently: had he made enough gold, and if he didn’t want to save his career and start bleaching the character and the cockney out of his soul?

Ian Dury, whose solo album “New Boots and Panties” back in the late seventies exhorted the masses to “hit me with your rhythm stick,” is just as evil as ever as Blackbeard. That he could have sired the luscious likes of Penelope Cruz defies imagination and suspension of belief. I think casting was where this film breaks down for me. Without Bloom and Knightley, Capt. Jack appears to be somewhat bored and missing his compadres. I’m sorry; I have to quote Gertrude Stein- not the worst play one can make at any time. But here goes: “There is no there, there.”

The kiddies will love you for taking them!

Movie: Kung Fu Panda 2

• Director: Jennifer Yuh Nelson
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 91
• Genre: Action & Adventure, Animation, Kids & Family, Comedy

Animation can get a film through its low points with an adult audience, while the kids move and groove to the would-be machinations of animals that can perform the skills of martial artists. Uh, ya, right! I almost walked out of “Kung Fu Panda 2.” I survived KFP 1 because I thought there wouldn’t be a KFP2. There shouldn’t have been a KFP2. Great animation or not, the plot was just too thin for a grown-up who paid his $14.00. (You may be asking why. Yes, yes. I paid. I can’t go into it right now.)

Jack Black is the voice of “Po” once again. He has become so incredibly mainstream since his esoteric “Nacho Libre” days. Anyhow, his character has become confused- he is somewhere between kung fu tough and a donut-loving sissy. Hard to tell. And that doesn’t make for the proper tension with the movie’s villain “Shen” played by master thespian Gary Oldman.

Everything bad works about Shen’s character: except Shen is a peacock. I’m sorry. That doesn’t inspire fear in Daddy or the least amount of dread. There just isn’t any spark in this movie. The animation saved it from me going to the door, walking back through the lobby to demand a refund. The animation is sensational. But the story went poof!

Even Dustin Hoffman can’t save the story, which goes to great lengths to involve us in the lives of Po and Shen- seemingly two opposing forces. But the writers decide they are both castaway offspring. Shen was abandoned and Po was raised by a geese (is that like being raised by Belgians?). It is quite laborious until the final piece of the film barrels along to a fine, exhilarating finish- sort of. The film has a difficult time leaving its predictability behind. Animation helped it. But predictability killed it for me. Kung Fu Panda 2 never really gets off the ground even though the little ones watching never sat down.

Martial arts intrigue people. Bad story lines can be tolerated. Come to think of it, animated martial arts was the hypnotic element of the film that makes the brain forget- the story was non-existently unimportant. Kiiiiiii-YAHHHH! Take that you grown up!

Movie: Jumping the Broom

• Director: Salim Akil
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 107
• Genre: Comedy

Sometimes a good film comes along portraying class conflict in the lives of African-Americans. “Jumping the Broom” does just that as Brooklyn meets Martha’s Vineyard. It is an especially punctuating film given the current US President’s penchant for expensive, out of place, vacations on the Vineyard in the recent past. Paula Patton and Laz Alonso play the diminishingly happy couple to be married in the midst of fireworks between matriarchs from the soon-to-be united clans.

Angela Basset plays the wealthy Claudine. Pam, the other mother, is played by Loretta Devine. They are the mothers-in-law-to-be and they are worlds apart. Jason’s mama works at the post office while Sabrina’s mother is well-ensconced in high society. And it shows when Pam pulls out the broom, a traditional African-American wedding symbol of shared domestic life beginnings. Too old school and backwatery for Claudine’s taste it becomes a source of pre-wedding tension.

However, the film delves deep into the intricacies that weddings seem to accentuate. Claudine is sure her well-to-do hubby bubby is cheating on her. Sabrina and Jason get into a scuff. And a younger gent is finding a great deal to be interested in an older woman who seems to want to find her groove this wedding season. There is plenty of hurried conversations under the pretense of everything is just fine kind of pre-wedding chatter.

Of course, the greatest tension comes from the very premise of a quicky wedding between two people who have not met each other’s parents. Whoopsie! Big oversight in most situations where money and position are involved. Trusting the future son-in-law when he doesn’t have money is a big factor in whether the wedding happens at all. And if the future daughter-in-law does and the groom’s mama doesn’t, there is going to be more than a broom to jump. This film embodies hoop jumping for everybody to keep up with each other and try to have a good time. I was exhausted as the film wound down to its finish.

Movie: The Hangover Part Two

• Director: Todd Phillips
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 102
• Genre: Comedy

This film isn’t for the politically correct American crowd. This film isn’t one you should take a minor under the age of 13. And if you do take your 13 year old to see it, make sure she or he has seen “The Hangover.” I am a grown man and both films made me clench some of my more delicate features as bones are crunched, kicks are delivered and bodies disposed of and searched for in wanton abandon to appear respectable at a wedding altar.

The most important benchmark of most cultures, the wedding ceremony, is the pretense for the mayhem in “The Hangover Part 2” just as it was in “The Hangover.” Alan’s “wolf pack” IS so back in Hangover 2.

The mystery of how the pack ends up the morning after in a humiliatingly desperate scenario is cleverly set up to find them losing someone important just one day before Stu is to get married to his beloved non-prostitute fiancée. All the original cast is back including Jeffrey Tambor as Alan’s reluctant father. Stu, Phil, and Alan return as themselves (will anybody ever call them by their real names again?). They are joined by Ang Lee’s son, Mason, who plays Stu’s fiancées beloved brother prodigy, Teddy.

After a harmless nightcap on the beach, Teddy and the Pack end up stranded somewhere in Bangkok, miles away from the pristine Thai resort where Stu’s future in-laws are preparing to wed their daughter to the dentist with a dark side. Mishap after mishap embroil the Pack in the shady criminal world of “Chao” the coked bedraggled Asian gangster who whupped them with a tire iron back in Las Vegas in the first episode. Just when the Pack is going to make it and find Teddy, they are thrown for a raucous loop of additional violence, pig’s blood and smoking drug-dealing monkeys.

If it hadn’t been made up and I really knew these guys, especially Chao (Ken Jeong), I’d be telling you “You can’t make this stuff up!” This movie is tight, funny, and outrageous. It is destined to go down, no pun intended, as another American comedy classic with “The Hangover.” “The Hangover Part 2”- take your Mom and has a great time! She’ll thank you for it.

Movie: Midnight in Paris

• Director: Woody Allen
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 94
• Genre: Comedy, Romance

Woody Allen comes back to his essential film making direction with “Midnight in Paris.” He has been around the block going for comedy and romantic satires, and the forays into somebody else’s dramatic formulae. Woody puts some juice behind the opening scene. Allen’s love of Paris is evident to the tuneage of Sidney Bechet on saxophone. The film maker goes for the romantic jugular from scene to scene, with each one going more deeply into his romanticism over a city many have fallen for over the past centuries. Paris is Paris, but this is Woody’s take. He doesn’t seem self-conscious or concerned about losing you as he indulges his lenses in his favorite city on Earth.

Owen Wilson is Woody’s lead male in the film, Gil. Gil is on holiday with his fiancée played by Rachel McAdams. Inez has her parents along, played by Kurt Fuller and Mimi Kennedy. Gil is trying to be an artist (a screenwriter of course) and he is completed taken by the Paris of his 1920s fantasies when the great ones prowled the streets. There is plenty of room in the film for banter and contemplative mood making. Woody pulls it off as you can feel his eyes looking around the City through Gil’s aspirations and softly covetous nostalgia for the bygone era of the greats.

Gil, like most of Woody’s leads he played himself, is undermined by his accompanying vacationers. Gil’s intellectual landscape is peppered with conversation fragments he imagines among the elite writers and intellectuals of post-war France of the 20s. Fitzgerald and Hemingway, Picasso and Stein— their sinewy dialectics take Gil over; and he is moved to share at times only to be snarked back to reality by his future mother-in-laws rumblings about traffic snares. When Inez’ old boyfriend shows up, Gil is treated to some ham-fisted cultural one-upsmanship on the meaning of French names for cities. Yawn. No fooling? Gil begins to wonder what he is doing there. But, oh well, it is a Woody Allen film. The lead is schmucked by love.

Gil takes flight from the subtle disfavor of the future in-laws, and Inez’ obvious lingering feelings for “Paul”, and winds up exploring Paris on his own. He takes up a touring companion, a designer named Adriana who is ably played by Marion Cotillard. Gil’s an expert on the greats and Allen leads the viewer through Gil’s ongoing fairy tale imaginings of being there while it was all going on. The “fam” is left in the background to a somewhat boorish continuance throughout the film. They might have been a little more interesting, but that may have detracted from Owen Wilson playing a serious writer.

Movie: Everything Must Go

• Director: Dan Rush
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 100
• Genre: Drama, Comedy

Will Ferrell plays Nick, a drunk, who is losing at the game of life. Losing isn’t for losers as Nick finds out having just five days to sort out the wreckage of his life that are his possessions which are on full display on his front lawn after his wife has tossed him to the curb, out of a failed marriage. Nick has to come through for himself. Anyone who has ever been a drunk or known a drunk knows this: if a drunk is faced with the do-or-die conditions that are Nick is in front of throughout this film, it usually doesn’t turn out so well.

Nick keeps it interesting. He befriends a young boy who is a neighborhood fixture seen on his endless bike ride around the neighborhood. Nick is a beer drinker and has to motivate himself to vacate his front lawn, a temporary home to him and his earthly possessions. The process of getting it all together for the final departing of the ways with his once married life sets the stage for a serious acting performance by a born comedic actor. Ferrell has as much chance to pull off a serious acting gig as Nick the drunk has at getting it together so he can move off the front lawn and get on with his life. Somehow the film works.

After the opening scene, where Nick encounters the devastation of his wife leaving him, I didn’t see Will Ferrell anymore. Nick took over. Nick’s wife doesn’t just end the marriage; she puts it into the toaster and turns it up to 11. Nick loses his accounts and his plastic. And there is no entry into the house as the locks have been changed. He is on the losing end of a losing proposition: get out and stay out.

She leaves his stuff scattered across the front yard. Nick’s response? Open a cold one and keep another 11 on hand for the ride. What is it about drunks and recliners? When Nick pauses on his out in the front yard, it was so real that Will Ferrell disappears from the screen and Nick takes over. The movie has good character boundaries. Nick the drunk doesn’t cross the line with the pregnant female neighbor who he bonds with and confesses his wounds and wounding to. The boy-man relationship doesn’t go as deep as it should have. Children who don’t belong to the drunk can usually have a real effect on the drunk; but we don’t see that angle in “Everything Must Go”. This is a good film with a strong premise and theme. It deals with addiction in a credible way; and that is not an easy feat.

Movie: Bridesmaids

• Director: Paul Feig
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 125
• Genre: Comedy

“Bridesmaids” has its moments as a hilarious take on the humdrum life of one humble chick living in one of the drabbest Midwestern US cities of all time, Milwaukee, while her best friend prepares to get married. It is a cliché American scenario as bridesmaids are runner-ups in life to their friends who get married first. All of their dreaded cliché romances and pathetically sexual forays seem a bit sleazy once one or more of their friends decides to stop sleeping around and get hitched, supposedly for life.

Well, here is Bridesmaids starring Kristen Wiig of “Saturday Night Live” as Annie. Maya Rudolph plays Annie’s best friend, and is also a regular from SNL. They bring some star power to the comedy even though it isn’t going to win any Academy awards. The SNL marketing machine seems to have a way of grinding out the talent from the 30 Rock mill and shows no signs of letting up. Wiig and Rudolph appear to know what they are doing—and if I am going to plunk down some cash to see a chick flick, the chicks better know what they are doing.

What the film lacks in originality in its overall theme it makes up for it with comedic punch. When the main chick goes ballistic in an all-out airliner drunken rampage, the audience is treated to some standard SNL fare. Wiig breaks out, but waits her turn after the hilarious Melissa McCarthy exploits her chubby demeanor and physique in the role of the sleazoid and promiscuous comedienne. Annie’s character is supported by some oddballs who make worthy appearances as stereotypical rich people and studly Irish cops.

I am not a big fan of chick flicks but this one is pretty funny. We are spared any lessons on how hard it is to be a girl and treated to a rather rollicking treatment of some serious life themes. Annie has lost her business and is stranded in a sexually oriented relationship with a handsome rich dude (John Hamm). Not a cool place to be, but Annie decides to let off some steam on her flight to the inevitable conclusions by really tying on a convincing drunk. Drunks are funny and so is “Bridesmaids.”

Movie: Win Win

• Director: Tom McCarthy
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 106
• Genre: Comedy

Paul Giamatti takes on the title role of a good man in a bad situation that he tries to make right and comes out on top in the end. He plays Mike Flaherty. A solid cast helps the story, with Amy Ryan as his acerbic wife; and, Jeffery Tambor plays his neighbor. Burt Young plays the “old man” whom Mike sells out and places in a sheltered care facility- even though he told the judge he would provide in-home care to in a court arranged guardianship. Mike needed the cash but not the grief. Under the cover of judicial ignorance, Mike leaves the old man in a nursing home and collects the check each month.

Mike is the wrestling coach at the local high school. He has high hopes for the team but the skill level of his warriors is somewhat lacking. Mike attracts this kind of heartless situation where good guys fall short despite the best t of intentions. He also attracts a bit of luck when the fiery and scary strong young stud Kyle shows up and needs a place to stay. Kyle is a wrestler, too.

Mike’s world changes as it does for his family when they take Kyle into their home. He challenges them with his ferocity on and off the mat. Mike’s wife locks her door when Kyle is around. But the overall balance of the situation is a win-win for Mike. And that is what he is concerned about. Kyle is played by the new film talent Alex Shaffer. It could very well be his performance of lifetime. Some have called it brilliant. I call Shaffer a super-nova of a film presence in this film. There is something about rural New Jersey and quiet desperation that sets a tempo in this film where I kept waiting for out and out violence to erupt.

Despite my stereotyping of the setting (hey! I been to Jersey. Know what I’m sayin’?) the film makes it way to an ending that will leave you deeply affected. This is a film that you can make plans that you will keep for afterward—but you will end up telling the story to anybody who will listen.

Win-win aptly describes the relationship between moviegoer and the film. I categorically recommend it.

Movie: Thor

• Director: Kenneth Branagh
• Release Date: May 2011
• Run Time: 115
• Genre: Drama, Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy

And We Named a Day of the Week After Him Too

One never knows how a super-hero comic book is going to transfer to the big screen. How many Batman’s did post 70s Hollywood cut its teeth on before it became stock-in-trade? Superman, with all due homage paid to Chris Reeves, RIP, was a safe bet given the humanoid transparency of a pair of thick framed glasses as the only veil of secrecy over his true identity. Batman gave producers confidence that led up to the presentations of Spiderman and IronMan. Nowadays the public expects topshelf renditions of things comic book playing out on the big screen. So why we have waited so long for the quintessential comic book hero, Thor, to hit the theaters?

Well, I have one theory. I don’ t know who else Hollywood could have cast as Thor. Dolph Lundgren is now too advanced in age. And even when he was young, he was too Aryan cold-blooded. There wasn’t enough compassion in his gaze. Forget about Rutger Hauer. There just wasn’t the physique or the Aryan features in terms of overwhelming critical mass. I don’t know for sure if a shortage of correct looking fellas was the hold up, on why we haven’t seen a Thor movie before 2011. It is a plausible theory considering what I am about to lay on you. You heard it hear first.

Now enters Chris Hemsworth in the early 21st century. Hemsworth IS Thor. No one else can come close. He has the awe-inspiring musculature. More importantly however, Hemsworth has the acting range to go from being the face-hammering thunderous Nordic god, to the repentant son, or the doe-eyed compassionate in service to humanity. That is quite a range for a comic book action hero- especially a divinely inspired and conceived of comic book action here. Thor, the movie, is well played as comic book renditions go. The plot is intensely woven around Thor’s psychological profile where we learn that even Nordic gods have father issues. I mean, come on, Odin must not be an easy guy to take any harsh words from, not to mention orders that one can’t help but disobey. I will stop here lest I give away the dynamic tension that makes this action adventure film hammer out well-deserved applause at the end.

Movie: Hanna

• Director: Joe Wright
• Release Date: April 2011
• Run Time: 111
• Genre: Mystery & Suspense, Action & Adventure

Another cultural effort to reverse gender roles of males and females (the true biological references to men and women before they are genderized and grow up to be all that they want to be if we would just let them!) where men are no longer the cold-blooded trained killers. Thank you Lara Croft. At any rate Salorse Ronan is our femme fatale and film namesake (Hanna). Erik is her assassin trainer father and is played nobly by the ever adaptive Eric Bana. Erik is training his daughter to be a cold-blooded killer with the skills of an assassin.

Not only is Erik training Hanna to be an assassin, he is cultivating her skills for one purpose. Hanna is trained to take down one target. Her target is played by Cate Blanchett who goes by the name “Marissa” in the film. Hanna’s dad does a yeoman’s job with her training. When the time comes Hanna leaves the nest and pursues her prey with full vigor. The scriptwriters make her out as a character bewildered by some unanswered questions about her plight as she pursues Marissa. As the audience we share in her fuzzy understanding of what is going on in the film too.

Why does Hanna do what she does? Who are those government goons? But we aren’t sidetracked too much as the violent portrayals of Hanna and Erik are well done by Ronan and Bana. Blanchett has the disturbing claim to fame as being a reasonably convincing villain who happens to be a decent woman when she isn’t being a villain. So we end up torn? Do we have to see the one’s we love being violent and deadly and dead? Makes for a theater-wide commitment on a Saturday afternoon out of a bunch of otherwise cynical movie-goers, believe you me. The groans and disappointments at every turn were audible. I like that!

I also dug (supremely enjoyed for those of you unfamiliar with the “beat” vernacular of San Francisco poetry scene of the late 50s) the soundtrack ably supplied by Rowlands and Simon aka “The Chemical Brothers”. Director Joe Wright put a stronger pulse into this film since 2009 when he brought out the heady drama The Soloist with Bob Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx. The modified script by Seth Lochead via David Farr, the good re-doctor, sets you up for mad violence, ultra even, including the gory details of a deer hunt. Non-stop, chased and be kiiled, chase and evade while being chased scenes spare us the agony of any ham-fisted attempts at classic acting in this gripping action adventure piece. Dig it.

That is what I will gladly pay to see in a freak film in the middle of the day.